My grandmother’s necklace

Five years ago,
grandma gave me her necklace and knit a warm beige sweater for me,
her way of telling me she loved me,
kept it under the christmas tree
where she also placed her lost dreams.

  Christmas morning, 7:47 am:

  I looked outside my bedroom window from the first floor,
our driveway covered knee deep in snow,
ran downstairs to the colourfully decorated tree,gifts underneath,
I was fourteen.
I opened up the cardboard box
the one with the little pink note that read:
Merry Christmas, little miracle,
love,
your abuela.

It revealed a breathtaking necklace,
a small round piece of purple amethyst at the centre,
a rather rusty gold chain,
it’s been in the family for years, you say
from the kitchen where
you were making me some of your special tea,
sweet with honey,
spiced with ginger and cinnamon,
like your love.

your unsteady stance called for me,
so i ran into the kitchen and lead you to the rosewood table,
you’d already made a fire in the red brick fireplace in our dining room,
so i poured us some tea
and you asked me to sit down
and told me a story.

you talked about a simpler time,
back in the 50’s,
about the time you fell in love,
with someone who looked like a dream.
but it couldnt be,
so the dream gave you this necklace,
for an impermissible kiss.

my heart rests forever in the forbidden crystal, your voice cracks,
as you tell me.

“once in a lifetime love gives you a fairytale”
*you sigh deeply*
“yes,it could end in heartbreak,but you had the privilege to love a soul and maybe that’s your fairytale”

I put it around my neck,
a perfect fit,
like it was meant to be embedded.

Five years later:

Christmas morning, 7:47 am:

I find you in the kitchen,
of course,
you’re making the special tea,
the one that tastes like your love,
except this time,
you don’t remember me.

I clutch the centerpiece of the necklace that holds your heart,
your hands are shaky, body, cold,
memories that don’t exist.

I help you to the cracked rosewood table and pour some tea,
you say thank you dear,
I wish I had someone like you to help me.

oh but abuela,
how do you not remember me?

So, I start telling you stories,
about the times that you held me,
hoping you recall any.

the necklace,
of course,
the necklace, the story.

7:59am:

the look in your eyes,
you remember now,
all of it,
and your eyes glow with this childlike wonder
as you tackle me in a warm embrace,
diamonds stream down your cheeks,
my lips curve into a smile,
finally,
a moment of lucidity.

8:07 am:

“I’m sorry I don’t think I know you”

“you asked me here to drink tea”

we sit in the chaos of this silence,
a bright fire burns in the living room fireplace as we look out the window, snowflakes settling on crisp leaves.
your now frail body shivers,
so i wrap the warm beige sweater that you knit me, around your shoulders,
and you smile at me,
“thank you, little miracle”
my heart hung heavy.

9:03 am:

I wear the amethyst around my neck,
as i do, everyday,
this way,
a piece of your heart always stays with me.
and maybe,
just maybe,
I’ll have my very own,
fairytale dream.

~V

– to abuela

song: Better Days- Dianne Reeves