Malignant

It’s not a question of
‘did I love you to begin with?’ anymore.
I did,
Of course I did.
you were the risk that felt safe,
a picture with no frame.
i would’ve let you drag me to hell,
if it meant you’d stay.

So,
tell me, my love,
why didn’t you,
stay?

would you have put up with me a little longer,
if maybe I was a little smaller,
if my arms were skinnier,
my eyes , amber,
hair, a little longer,
lips, plumper.
would you have walked away,
if I took my clothes off,
even if I was uncomfortable?

the day that you left,
keeps replaying in my head,
the street on which,
you told me i was a trainwreck.
but then you held my hands ,tightly,
and you told me you were sorry,
so I mollified,
in your stringent embrace.

you were so broken when we met,
that when I held you,
I knew you needed the light to shine,
and I believe that’s why you took mine.
how foolish of me to believe you?
how woeful of me to still miss you?

but how could I blame you for not loving me,
when most times,
I find it hard to love myself?

~V

~to the love I found hard to walk away from even when it broke me

Song: Rough Love – Melanie Martinez