Deception

Almost at the years end
and it turns out that
I still only tell
the moon all my secrets.

how did i end up in the same place
as the last December twenty eight?
with the same heartache
and the same pain?
now I’m doing it all over again,
questioning,
if I’ll ever catch a break.

Now even the shadows are tired,
of listening to the same heartbreak,
the flowers in my backyard, they shy away,
my friends, tear away.

I’m tired of me too,
for for thinking about you,
all the damn time.
i feel sick,
in a way that consumes me,
like heroin to the brain.

how are you still so perfect
even after you broke my heart, over and over again?
will i fall in love again?
or end up in the same lair?

you have me tied by the neck,
with my heart on your sleeve,
Why won’t you just cut me free?
just let me be?
please?

my light guided you
to see the bright side,
when you needed to, especially then,
So why,
are you still swallowing me in your darkness like a tropical cyclone?
eroding my heart like it’s a joke?
are you that big of a hoax?
was i just use and throw?

you told me,
I saved you,
from yourself,
now,
how will I save myself from you?

~V

-to the ghost of the past

song:The Cut that Always Bleeds- Conan Gray